Part I // Part II // Part III // Part IV // Part V // Part VI
Congratulations, reader! You have finally reached the end of the tour of my Tony Stark Playlist. If you have stuck with me, thank you. I know you probably didn't expect this blog to suddenly morph into an Iron Man shrine, but - uh - I've always had a tendency to go a little crazy whenever something hits me like this. That's why I wore a Bajoran earring to school in the early 90's. That's why I read every single existing biography of John Adams in the late 90's. That's why I wrote tens of thousands of words of Vir Cotto fanfiction in the early 2000's. Matt would probably say that this is one of my autistic traits, and I'm not sure he'd be wrong.
At any rate, it's time to talk about Peter Parker (that precious boy!), Infinity War, and Endgame.
"Part of the journey is the end."
I'm not sure I'm going to continue with the MCU after Endgame -- but if I do, it will probably be because of Peter, Light of My Life. I love that the MCU's Spiderman is an actual kid with realistically kid-like emotions. I love his sense of wonder and his frustration with boundaries. I love that he wants to enter the adult superhero world right-now-God-damn-it because yes: all teens think they're ready for grown-up responsibilities whether they truly are or not. And naturally, I love the relationship he has with Tony. I actually have several of their interactions on my playlist (like, for example, "Because I said so!" and "What the f--. You should not be here!") -- but once again, I decided to curate.
The scene above is outstanding for several reasons, but here, I will discuss the three that pertain to Tony:
"And if you died, I feel like that's on me." This obviously sets up the conclusion of Infinity War, but it's also Tony taking responsibility for the fact that he recruited Peter in the first place. Moreover, it's an expression of genuine concern and affection -- the same concern and affection that inspires Tony to equip Peter's suit with a tracker, "training wheels," and a "baby monitor." (Heh.) (By the way, do you notice how quickly Tony responds when Peter is dropped in the lake in the "Because I said so!" scene? Because I do. Me thinks Tony has someone watching that "baby monitor" 24/7.)
"And I wanted you to be better." Self-awareness. Tony is keenly aware that he's flawed -- that he can be and has been reckless. Thus, he doesn't want Peter to simply admire him. He wants Peter to learn from his mentor's mistakes.
"If you're nothing without the suit, then you shouldn't have it." A beautiful Iron Man 3 call back! This is wisdom that Tony has acquired from hard experience.
Remember how, in his misspent early days, Tony never missed a chance to nail an attractive woman? Remember his refusal to settle down? What. A. Change. But like other aspects of Tony's evolution, his newfound desire for a family in this scene is perfectly logical. Given the relationship he now has with Peter, it makes sense that Tony would be eager to provide the same guidance to a kid who is biologically his. And the way he broaches the subject with Pepper is cute. as. hell. "You know when you're having a dream and in the dream, you have to pee?" L. O. L. And his almost childlike protest when Pepper denies she's pregnant? ("I had a dream about it! It was so real!") And, dear God, that "oh no, she caught me!" look when Pepper chides him for wearing his bleeding edge armor? Seriously: everything about this scene makes me smile hard enough to make my face hurt.
But also? We have that low-key acknowledgement of Tony's long-standing paranoia ("Just in case there's a monster in the closet.") -- a fear that, here, is mere minutes away from being justified.
One of the most interesting things about Infinity War is the fact that Tony is forced to work with characters who don't really know him -- and as we see here and in his scenes with the Guardians, he has trouble navigating that. He gets frustrated. He loses his patience. He spends half the time wearing an "I'm literally going to strangle everyone here" look. Being on a profoundly different wavelength makes leadership tough. So yeah: Tony does need Steve. Without Steve, he struggles to hold everything together.
You know, in Endgame, Tony really sells himself short. Thanos has four stones in this battle; in light of that, I think we can safely say that mere mortal Tony actually holds out for an impressively long time before Thanos finally overwhelms his nanotech. Indeed, he even draws blood. Didn't fight him, my ass. But, of course, it's entirely in keeping with Tony's underlying self-hatred for him to focus on the defeat -- especially the moment the "Bleecker Street magician" gives up to save Tony's life. Yes, I know exactly what's going on in Tony's headspace there: I'm not worth taking the L. The mournful "Why would you do that?" is absolutely heartbreaking.
This is also a good place to talk about Tony's connection to Thanos. Thanos is, in fact, Tony's dark parallel. Both characters are visionaries consumed with a desire to save the world and secure the future. But while Thanos sees even his own adopted daughters as means to an end, Tony loves and loves genuinely. As we've seen, Tony gets irrationally angry whenever someone he cares about is hurt; never in a million years would he ever consider throwing, say, Pepper off a cliff for a chance at snagging absolute power and achieving his dream. Tony, in other words, is still in touch with that spark of messy humanity that Thanos lost long ago.
(Sorry for the logo on this clip, by the way. It was the only one that contained the full scene.)
This is it. This is Tony Stark's greatest fear becoming a reality. He's lost, and everyone around him (except for Nebula) is dead. Between this, the stab wound, and the three weeks drifting in space on tight rations, it's no wonder he returns to Earth in Endgame a fragile shell.
Now here's where I may get a little incoherent, I think, due to feelings.
Tony's opening scenes in Endgame are just -- God. Damn you, RDJ, for repeatedly curb-stomping my poor heart! The message to Pepper? "It's always been you." Gaaah. And then his face when he's rescued and he tells Steve he "lost the kid"? That makes my stomach hurt.
And then we have that breakdown and collapse in the conference room. That is the real Tony. The Tony who's grieving and too weak for artifice. The Tony who can't yet accept failure and thus is running through a million alternate scenarios in his mind. What if they had listened to me when I warned them we were doomed? What if Cap hadn't left and the Avengers had stayed together? What if Cap had been by my side on Titan? And why the hell is Cap standing there like a God damned unfeeling statue acting like we can just go back to business as usual? He promised me he'd be there, and he didn't keep his word. Liar. Fuck it: here, take it, Cap. Take the heart you broke -- even though it's useless.
The way this scene acknowledges both Tony's vision in Ultron and the fact that, in their last meeting, Steve shattered Tony's arc reactor and abandoned him in the Siberian wastes is absolutely superb. Of course, it's not fair for Tony to pile all his anguish on Steve; Tony himself contributed to their falling out by being an equally stubborn cuss (and by losing control and trying to beat Steve and Bucky into submission). But here, Tony is simply not in a place - spiritually, emotionally, or physically - to be fair.
As five years go by, however, something amazing happens: Tony calms down. What really strikes me about Tony during the middle portion of Endgame is how soft he is -- how open. In these scenes, the keyed-up Tony - the Tony of sharp edges and chaotic depths - has fallen away. Obviously, having a little girl has helped him to relax his guard. (His scenes with Morgan, by the way? Breathtakingly adorable.) But I also think that, in a strange way, losing has given Tony a chance to breathe. Since the worst has already happened, he no longer has to spend his life on a knife's edge, waiting in tortured anticipation for catastrophe. Now he has the time, at long last, to collect himself and take stock -- to drop his tightly-controlled public persona and just be.
But that doesn't mean Tony's forgotten what's been lost. Not by a long shot. He's still not completely at peace.
At first, Tony resists the call to come out of retirement when it finally comes; after all, he now has a lot to lose. But the hero inside him won't let him put the matter to bed. From the moment he figures out the whole time travel thing, Tony has a sneaking suspicion that his own time is short -- yet he sets aside his selfish desire to stay home with his wife and child for the sake of Peter and the rest of the Vanished. And when he arrives at the Avengers compound, one of the first things he does is make up with Steve.
He makes up with Steve.
He makes up with Steve.
When Tony takes the shield out of the trunk, I swear to God, I almost scream. Ditto when, before the team's first time jump, Steve offers up a typical Captain America inspirational speech and Tony flashes him a "you know, I've really missed that" smile. Ditto when, as Tony and Steve prepare to jump to 1970, they have the following exchange:
Tony: "You trust me?"
Steve: "I do."
Tony: "Your call."
THIS IS THE TONY & STEVE CONTENT I'VE BEEN CRAVING EVER SINCE I WATCHED CIVIL WAR.
(Which, granted, was not that long ago, but still -- they brought my boys back together again.)
And then -- Tony runs into his dad. That scene right there reveals once again that Tony has been working on himself in the pause after the Snap -- and it's beautiful and not self-indulgent in the least. As a matter of fact, as I argued in the podcast with Matt, that scene is probably the moment Tony is given that last shot of courage he needs to make his final sacrificial choice. "I've never let the common good outweigh my own self interest." But Howard believes his unborn son can be a better man -- and he's right. Oh, God, is he right!
And now we come to the final act.
The reunion with Peter on the battlefield is -- I don't even know. The pure joy - and the held-back tears - in that hug absolutely wrecks me.
And, okay, when I came out of Endgame at two in the morning a few weeks ago, my first text to Matt was, "I... am... Iron Man. OMGgggggggggg." Thank God the Russo Brothers decided to add that at the last minute because yes. Oh my God, yes! They actually had Tony go out the same way he came in, and I honestly can't think of a more epic way to close out his story than that.
Also: Tony earned that. Oh yes, he did! He is the one who's feared Thanos the most; thus, he is the right one, from a narrative perspective, to accomplish the ultimate victory. What's more, Tony was never going to find lasting solace until he had saved everyone. Death or the eschaton, remember? So while I am personally devastated to see him go, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Yes, Tony: "You can rest now."
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