Marvel's Doubling Down on Destroying Your LCS

By now, I'm sure all of you have seen this news:



The pure, unadulterated cringe of this is just -- *chef's kiss.* Indeed, a part of me wonders if this is actually a Poe -- a comic book version of the Lindsay/Pluckrose/Boghossian critical studies hoax dreamed up by some clever mole at the Marvel Bullpen. But nah: that's probably overthinking it. In the trailer, Kibblesmith seems entirely earnest -- unfortunately.

Obviously, the only people who will read this crap are people looking for something to roast. But I don't think Marvel - or Disney, its parent company - really cares. I think all involved have resigned themselves to taking losses with the comics; I think all involved believe they can coast on movie revenues alone. And once the theaters reopen, that may prove to be a correct gamble -- even if we do see a significant drop-off in interest given the loss of half the OG Six.

But you know who can't survive stunts like this? The retailers. Said small businesses are already feeling the crunch from the other pre-quarantine bull they've been forced to swallow -- and now you're going to ask them to sell this garbage too? Eff that.

Over the past few days, comic book pros have been discussing ways to keep the industry afloat despite current events. Image, laudably, has even decided to make all of its books returnable. But you know what would really help in the long run? Not publishing bilge.

If the box office numbers are anything to go by, there are millions of people out there who are primed to be your audience. That Iron Man, for example, is selling so anemically at the moment is an absolute travesty. Everyone loves Iron Man; he should be clocking in at six figures at worst. But no: you guys would rather delight your like-minded editors than cater to the swarms of normies out there who openly sobbed over Tony's sacrifice in Endgame. After all, those moviegoers probably hold all kinds of icky, deplorable opinions -- and you certainly don't want your stuff tainted by that sort of wrongthink!

Sigh.

Marvel doesn't deserve to be skin-suited this way. Stan Lee's baby was once a national treasure.