Dad Has Passed Away (Plus Blog Changes)

Just after Christmas, my father passed away peacefully in his sleep due to complications of neurosarcoidosis. Below is the text of the eulogy that was delivered by my brother at his viewing:

We’re gathered here to celebrate the life of love and service of my father, Robert (or "Spike"). His career was as a Navy Submariner, but his vocation was at home with his wife of 41 years, Charlotte, and his two children, Stooch and Mooch. His family was always his north star, even as a child.

You see, Spike had the benefit of two loving parents, two sisters, a brother, and countless cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents – a close-knit band of mainly working-class Irish Catholics. Multiple generations of [his family] grew up in the row houses of Ambler, PA, and played by the asbestos slag piles across the railroad tracks. He told us stories of licking the sugar-lined waste pipe behind a candy factory, doing 65 mph around a blind downhill curve on his bike with his cousins, orienteering and camping as an Eagle Scout, and blurting out, “You see, Penny…” in the middle of reading time in school.

He was a fierce protector of the innocent and the vulnerable. Penny remembers him defending her from bullies during their summers at Mermaid Lake. BJ tells stories about Spike sitting with his brother Brad for hours when he was ill. And I will always remember him going to war with doctors who weren’t taking Mom’s care seriously and going to bat for us in the PTA.

So strong was his love of family that, when Spike enrolled at the Navy Academy – class of ’77 – he was on a mission. He was looking for a wife, not merely a good time or a job. And find her, he did. God gifted him with a chance to find his soulmate when the Naval Academy welcomed its first class of women in 1976 and Charlotte joined the Masqueraders to get out of afternoon PT.

My Dad always used to say, “The key to a happy marriage is to marry a saint.” But I think his life proves that isn’t enough. He embodied the true meaning of Catholic romantic love. As Paul said to the Ephesians, he loved his wife just as Christ loved the Church. He imparted his view of marriage on both me and my sister whenever he got the chance. He had a dozen colorful sayings he repeated again and again. He often said, “whatever Mom wants,” when we were making a family decision. When I got in a fight with my wife Juliet, he’d say, “Matt, when you argue with your wife and it turns out you’re right, apologize at once.” He echoed Robert Heinlein’s sentiment when he advised us to have a budget, but budget for luxuries first. Mom has the jewelry and Lladro collection to prove he meant it – and I have the memories of a dozen family vacations to hold onto now that he’s gone.

He was devoted to family, but he was also devoted to country and to God. He served for over twenty years in the nuclear Navy and, though it took him away from home for months at a time, he was proud to keep America safe. He was a patriot to the end and spent his later years battling the decline of American values in the culture. His extensive network of friends from sci-fi [fandom] and Liberty Con can attest to that.

Spike loved real life, but he also loved the worlds he found on the pages of the endless piles of books he read. He cut his teeth on Perry Mason and the Hardy Boys and came to love Sue Grafton, but his first love was golden-age science fiction and fantasy. He was formed in his philosophy by Heinlein, Niven, Pournelle, Asimov, Clarke, Tolkien, and Card -- among others. He passed his love of the genre to both of his kids and it has filled our hearts with a hope for our future and a love of man’s potential.

When my Dad was ten years old, he helped his father build a family home in Blue Bell, PA. That house still stands, strong as ever. Spike dreamed of building his own family home someday. His final gift to Charlotte and her children now stands nearly complete in Amissville, VA, at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. When I look ahead to move-in day, his absence is almost unbearable.

Dad, you were taken from us too soon. You used to joke that you raised a couple of good kids but had no idea how. I can tell you how – the Holy Spirit came with you, brought you back to the Church, filled you with an undying love for your family, and, we pray, is now taking you home to be with your brother, mother, and father. We’ll miss you.

As I note in the sidebar at right, I will be taking over Dad's political commentary blog. My mundane political commentary will now be posted there, and this blog will be reserved for geeky, fandom-related content. Thank you to all of you for reading.